Are introspective leaders narcissistic?

David Brooks' recent op-ed in the New York Times, asking whether introspection is just narcissism in sheep's clothing, unsurprisingly drew some harsh criticism - including some personal jabs. Although it's easy to poke holes in Brooks' arguments, it is important to poke these holes.

Brooks suggests that the dangers of self-examination are rumination and over-simplifying. Rumination is a solitary process which can lead to the ruminator spiraling into greater depression, or unnecessary self aggrandizement- depending upon their initial state of mind. Over- simplifying is similar to rationalization, and used to justify -to ourselves-, our obviously poor choices. Brooks offers some examples from research in psychology to illustrate how one can move away from a self-immersive form of reflection to a more detached, critical form -which is likely to result in a more accurate and therefore healthy self-perspective. Finally, Brooks suggests quite ambiguously that rather than focusing on our strengths and weaknesses, we must gain perspective by focusing on a broader empathetic view of the world.       

First, it is important to not go overboard in criticizing Brooks- it's after all just an op-ed and not a research paper. Plus, what better way to strengthen our convictions than to counter the arguments against them?  The first flaw in Brooks' reasoning is that self reflection through self-immersion and from afar are mutually exclusive. Instead they are two sides of a coin. Even research in organizational behavior recognizes the importance of 360 degree feedback (or evaluations from multiple sources) for a more accurate final picture. Another major concept in organizational behavior - emotional intelligence- is a combination of self-awareness and "other" awareness, with empathy being an important component of other awareness.

The gaping hole in Brooks' op-ed is right in the title. Narcissism is actually the absence of introspection, and refers to self- absorption with a blinding desire to be admired. Self-introspection on the other hand is a concerted effort to understand oneself, and to better fit in with society. For example, self-reflection and self regulation in emotional intelligence refer to an attempt to understand one's emotions to better manage them in the larger social context, like not losing one's temper. How is that narcissism?

The fundamental problem in the op-ed is the compartmentalization of the various forms of self-reflection. For example, understanding one's strengths and weaknesses is crucial in pursuing the right career; a decision which has a significant effect on our well-being. Surely Brooks'  good understanding of his strengths as a writer landed him his prestigious Times job. The problem lies when self-reflection and self-acceptance do not go together. I overheard a conversation between two perfectly fine looking women vehemently agreeing with each other that they hated what they saw in the gym mirror. Introspection should come from a deep desire to know and accept, and not be confused with mere self-evaluation.

So, are introspective leaders narcissistic? No, narcissistic leaders are not introspective!